His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
