No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
