you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
