I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
