I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
