Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
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