im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
