my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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