i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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