yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
that is very illegal...i love you.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
