She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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