This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
