doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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