me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
