Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
