yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
