I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
