Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
