you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm always down for nudity.
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