You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
