I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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