i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
