it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
