i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
