its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
