I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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