How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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