saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
