there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
