So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
