I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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