The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
