Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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