Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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