what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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