I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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