Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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