It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
