if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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