is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
