Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just cropdusted the office
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
