My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
3 2 1 whiskey
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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