i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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