Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
