Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
