omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
