i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
