Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
