Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
