He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
