I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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